Are you wondering how to improve marriage intimacy? Or maybe you’re thinking about how to make a difference in your marriage? You might be pondering where you got it all wrong.
Your marriage might be on the rocks, standing on one foot or even not yet that bad, but you already know that the intimacy and spark that was at the beginning has dwindled.
The truth is any good solid relationship built on emotional intimacy as one of its foundations can stand the test of time. In fact, intimacy is a necessary element you need in your marriage if you want it to be successful.
Intimacy is the closeness between people in personal relationships, the spark that is built over time as you connect more with someone, grow to care about each other, and feel more comfortable during your time together.
It can be either physical or emotional closeness or even a mix of the two.
So, it is basically how you sleep, wake up, and act every single second in-between those two activities. Improving intimacy in your marriage can be done with as much as little things that will make the difference in your marriage.
It mustn’t be extravagant or extreme changes, just little things daily. Grab a cup of coffee and join me on this ride as we learn about how to improve marriage intimacy with 10 little things;
1. Time Is Money
If you are looking for how to improve marriage intimacy, you must realize that time is a currency, so use it. Intimacy is not noodling and can not be made in two minutes; it is something that is nurtured and grown over time- this can not be overemphasized.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but I know you need it – “spend time with your spouse”. This is the 21st century and we all have work and social media trying to take all of our time but it is important to give your time to your spouse.
Time is priceless, so every time you give time to your spouse, you are giving them a priceless piece of you and this will be rewarded whether you like it or not.
2. Be Touchy
In this journey of improving marriage intimacy, being touchy is important. I know that intimacy and romance are two different things but we must note that they are two sides of a coin.
Romance, when done right and being romantic, can go a long way if you are looking for how to improve marriage intimacy. It could be a romantic trip to a new place, a dinner date, walk in the park, candlelight massage on a Friday night, anything at all you feel your partner will appreciate.
Sometimes not only she deserves a treat, he does too – it must not be exotic but by all means, make it a well-planned action because memories will stand as cement when you are building the pillars of intimacy and trying to make a difference in your marriage.
3. Communicate
To improve your marriage intimacy you must realize that no matter how much you think you are, you are not a bottle! So, always try as much as possible not to keep things inside of you.
Communication is the key to the success of every relationship and if you are looking at how to improve marriage intimacy then you must try to talk everything out.
No one has ever said and certainly, no one is saying that marriage is a blissful paradise but no matter what the matter arising may be, it is important that you let it all out rather than keeping it all inside of you.
For one, it is good for your health to talk about your problems because when you share them and the offender apologizes, you forget it and free yourself of bitterness which is not good for your health.
4. Let Them Become A Part Of You
Everyone deserves the feeling of being wanted, especially your spouse and you must realize that even a handyman needs help sometimes. So, do not hesitate to ask your spouse to be part of the things you do.
It could be something as small as picking out a tie to wear to work or picking out the engineering firm to contract the construction of your new house to.
No matter what the case may be, it is important to make them feel like you want them to be part of your life because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here on this blog with me.
Pick colors together or patterns on how you want the house to be laid out. He should pick the gown for the end of year party and she should be there when you are selecting your next car.
It has to be a team effort, two people seamlessly getting involved in the everyday life of each other, that’s how to improve marriage intimacy, in my own opinion.
5. Be A Complimentary Card
Pondering on how to improve marriage intimacy? Be a complimentary card! They must always be handsome or beautiful, they must always be your early morning sun and goodnight moon.
Even when they are away at work or school or out of the country, you have to constantly remind them how the clouds are dark and rainy only over your head because they are your rainbow.
People say women are compliment seekers but I feel like men too would kill to hear another human affirm that they too can be the reason why someone smiles.
I know your partner already heard you say “I love you” before they left the house but how about now, ten minutes later because they are stuck in traffic and all that is going through their mind is how worthless their boss would think they are for coming in four minutes late.
So, go ahead and send that I love you, my Queen/King text – their day depends on it and who knows what would be waiting for you in a box wrapped with love and hugs and kisses when they return from work.
6. Never Quarrel For Long
Kids never quarrel for long, so become kids. Play tricks or pranks, it is always nice to be unpredictable. An accident prank in the kitchen tomorrow while making breakfast won’t be a bad idea because he certainly will go from the fear of seeing your hurt to seeing everything is fine.
Most times, what these pranks do is remind us that we really love the next person because we feel real emotions for a second. For a second, we are scared to death that something bad has happened even when it has not.
Also, tease your spouse(it one of The Best Ways To Keep Your Man) – one of the oldest tricks in the book for ladies is to buy two new real gorgeous undies and let him pick the one you would wear to work or getting two lingerie and letting him pick the one you wear all day if you are a stay-at-home mum.
This just keeps him distracted all day because he has never seen you in them and all he can do is imagine what you look in those undies or in that lingerie all day. Be it a prank or a magic trick or just a trick, always remember that children never quarrel for long because they play a lot.
7. Us, You, Them
It is us first, then you before them. Yes, you before them because when it comes to individualism, I would always save myself first and I think you should do too but first it is always us.
If there is a way to improve your marriage and build intimacy – it should be followed whether or not you are fine with it, it is part of the small sacrifices that we have to make to enjoy ourselves and our relationship.
Remember, you are trying to improve intimacy in your relationship and not the relationship with yourself, so the work needs to be put in.
Know yourself and know your partner; similarities and differences – draw the margin between both and then work on the things you can comfortably do together.
If they are not going to enjoy going to the movies because they are introverts then one of the spare rooms needs to be converted to a cinema because we all deserve movie nights.
If they would go out for football games and you will kill to be at a music concert then both of you should be ready to do both and probably on the same day.
The highlight of the day wouldn’t be that they saw their favorite team play from the comfort of their home turf but the fact that you screamed and spilled beer on the man in front of you when they scored.
8. Prioritize And Spice Up Your Bedroom Life
Studies have shown that couples enjoy a greater emotional connection when they are properly satisfied in bed. Men tend to want to be closer or more intimate if they are making love.
Women want lovemaking when intimacy increases. So, making love with one another on a consistent basis can help both man and woman get what he or she wants.
Don’t just go through the motions either. You should try to really get in the mood for love with extra spice. Spice up your bedroom life with extra foreplay, sweet-talking, and setting the mood right. You can set the mood with as little as putting on scented candles, dimming the bedroom lights, switching off the television, etc.
Just be sure to make your husband or wife feel desirable. Let them know you enjoy making love with him or her. Spicing up your bedroom life and breaking out of that your lovemaking routine might be the ultimate step on how to improve marriage intimacy, so, break that routine today!
9. Get The Necessary Help
Finally, no man is an island and no one knows it all, so, if you feel that your relationship is past the point of no return for you to salvage alone, then seeking external help might be the key.
You might have hurt your spouse deeply without meaning to, avoided personal intimacy, grown apart or become distracted by the hustle and bustle of life, or you might even feel your emotional intimacy begin to spiral downward, I will advise that at this point you try and seek help from a family therapist.
But before you seek external help, I will advise that you try all the tips listed above first. If there’s no significant progress after a significant amount of time can you then seek external help.
On that note, you’ll know that you’ve tried all means possible to revive the intimacy in your marriage before this last resort. Seeking help is one of the ways to recommit to marriage and it is among the steps to a better marriage.
Wow! What a ride! Thanks for reading to this point. I hope that these tips will help you on your journey of how to improve marriage intimacy. Try these steps in your marriage and I hope you’ll improve intimacy in your marriage for good.
You can also check out 10 Tips For A Happy Marriage and 7 Ways To Improve Communication In A Relationship for more resources.
What other things have you done to improve intimacy in your marriage? How has this article helped you? Are there other tips that need to be here? I’ll be waiting for your answers, comments, and more in the comment section below! Sending out Love and Light to all of you. Enjoy!
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