I get a lot of questions from women asking how to know who the “right” man is when it comes to men. It could be in regards to a guy they’re dating, a guy they want to be dating, perhaps they are preparing for marriage or they are just curious about how to know the right man to marry.
Most relationships sometimes startup with very strong attractions and end up painfully.
Meg and Dre’s relationship started like every other with a lot of energy, fun, and chemistry. They could hardly stay without each other. She saw signs of trouble earlier on but convinced herself she had everything it takes to make them work.
Things got really bad yet she remained in just so she could say she has a man. Things deteriorated between them greatly. She became a shadow of her former self, drained, sad, and full of fear. She tried all she could to keep the relationship.
Eventually, he left her, and then her eyes were opened and she realized her fears. If only she had listened to her intuition, she felt she had put in so much into the relationship and what she was going through was only a phase that would pass.
Most women review their relationships only after it has ended. They allow their feelings to blind them and choose not to see how bad things are but rather choose to visualize what they wanted the relationship to be like.
Other times, it’s difficult to see the wrong in the relationship until you are out especially when you are infatuated. Many have had their personalities changed as a result of being with a wrong mate.
Does it make sense embarking on a journey you know will end with a shipwreck? Sometimes as women, we see trouble signs but end up convincing ourselves that we would make it work.
Dating is a period that lets you into the world of your man, his personality, goals, and character traits.
How ever difficult it may seem, there will always be telltale signs and cues to pick up that will let you know if you should continue in the relationship or take a walk, but ladies generally assume and make excuses for their men.
Being in a relationship with one who isn’t meant for you could cause damage to you. In this post, we will be exploring how to know if he’s the one for you, signs you’re not with the man you should marry, and signs you should not marry him.
1. He Will Never Do What He Says
It is true and relatable that plans may not always fall through but a good man will be consistent. Please don’t ignore this sign.
Most times in relationships, we are hopeful the men will change but once you discover its the same old story please move on.
2. When You Have To Go Out Of Your Way To Keep Him
Relationships generally demand some level of work but it doesn’t have to be some kind of hard work. It should be easy and not burdensome, it shouldn’t put you under pressure or strain you.
Most times it’s best to go with the flow. When you have to go out of your way always, keep your eyes open, it could be signs you should not marry him.
Does the man in your life make more withdrawals than deposits in your life? I advise ladies not to do anything for someone who won’t do something for you.
You don’t have to compete for the number one spot in his life or be the top priority in his heart. You don’t have to force things. As Trent Shelton said, you don’t have to chase what doesn’t want to stay. It should happen naturally.
3. Unending Drama
Conflicts in relationships are real and sometimes could be healthy because as two separate individuals, your reaction to things, point of view, character, and personality traits will always be different and there could be conflict.
When you find yourself having unending drama with lots of tears, anger, or even worry, they are signs you should not marry him and he’s not the man for you. Relationships should make you better and not the opposite.
Men like this will always want to prove they are right and can never be wrong. They would rather win than accept defeat for peace to reign. They seldom say sorry even when wrong or use the silent treatment to register their displeasure.
4. When He Hasn’t Officially Declared You As His Lady
Generally, ladies in a bid to feel loved and accepted quickly tag themselves as Mrs or even a girlfriend when the man hasn’t. They begin to take up roles.
Please ladies, not until a man declares you as his woman and the one for him, don’t assume responsibilities.
If you’re in a relationship longer than 6 months and he’s not said anything, there’s a need to ask questions. If he hides you or doesn’t refer to you even as his girlfriend, you may just be a friend with benefits to him.
Note also that if a relationship has to be secret, you have no business being in it. When a man genuinely loves and has plans for you, he will be proud and show you off. If this isn’t the case in your relationship, it’s one of the signs you should not marry him.
5. When You Have To Change Who You Are To Be Accepted By Him
When a man forces you to do things you wouldn’t do ordinarily, it means he’s selfish and cares about himself only. You are meant to balance each other, you don’t have to do too much. He should love and accept you for who you are, the good, bad, and the ugly.
6. He Seems Complex, Difficult, And Dominant
For a relationship to thrive and for the persons involved to be happy, they both have to understand each other. If your man has any of the above traits, it could be signs you should not marry him.
You don’t have to feel uneasy or feel as if you have to watch your words or behave in a certain manner when you are with him.
7. He Makes You Feel Less
Being with this kind of man makes you always have to prove yourself, you seek validation from your man before you decide if something is right or wrong.
You have this constant feeling of second-guessing yourself. This is one of the biggest signs you should not marry him. In some cases this makes you lose touch with your core.
Note that we all have weaknesses and shouldn’t be a big deal when our significant half lovingly shows us our flaws, so we can be better and also help us manage them, but constantly bringing them up when there’s a misunderstanding is a no-no.
A man who genuinely loves you will be patient with you.
8. When Your Gut Tells You He’s Not The One
There’s something about a woman’s intuition or 6th sense as some call it. When it doesn’t feel right or sound good, please take a back seat as it could be signs you should not marry him. Maya Angelou said ‘one thing love is not is unsure’.
While it’s OK to get feedback from family and friends, it’s best to look within and decipher, sieve, and screen your relationship with the eyes of reality. Don’t settle for less just to say you have a man.
Being in a wrong relationship can be damaging and could get worse. Don’t stay in a relationship that doesn’t bring out the best in you.
9. He’s Married
You are also with the wrong man if he’s married.
It baffles me when I see ladies agree to play second fiddle to a married man. Do you know how it feels to be the other woman? Some have made themselves tools of satisfaction to a man hoping he would commit to them.
Yaqub was so caring and loving. He mentioned casually, that he was married but wasn’t getting satisfaction being with his wife. He promised me so many good things said, Angie.
He would come over to my place almost every day after work to make me feel I had him, yet, I wanted more than just a causal relationship.
After a few weeks, he changed suddenly and wouldn’t take my calls when home, even when there were emergencies when I needed him. I was hoping I could win him over. Eventually, I found out he used me as he relocated with his family, and I was left heartbroken.
10. When He Says He’s Not Ready For Commitment
You know he’s not the man you should marry when He says he’s not ready for commitment.
This is an area ladies miss it a lot. They stay hopeful and wishing he would change his mind forgetting that most times a man means what he says.
When a man says he’s not ready for a serious relationship he means it. It’s not the duty of a woman to change his mind.
No matter how much you try, it may never work as most men would see you as being desperate which is a natural repellent for men as they can sense it from miles away.
Wow! Such a long ride and we’ve looked so much into signs he’s not the man you should marry. In all you do, it is important that you note that love is natural and doesn’t need to be forced but should be worked on.
Love is easy and should be enjoyed and not endured. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and it takes beyond love to make it work.
So, if you are going to get married, you should at least get married to the right man and then focus on other areas to make your marriage work.
Knowing signs he’s not the man you should marry will make things easier and remove some things off your list. So, I hope this article helps you on your journey to finding the right man.
Let me know below in the comment section some other signs that are a big turn off in your list. Bye, until next time!
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